shout out to my neighbor’s friend

just because you are bloody hearing impaired is not an indication that the rest of the street is.  the entire street does not need to hear the goddamn thong song thumping out of your stupid ass civic at 4 am in the fucking morning.

you did NOT have to scroll through 8 different songs in front of your friend’s door for 15 minutes before stepping out and going in to the freaking house.  what the fuck is it, your idea of trumpets signalling your arrival?!?!  

if i wasn’t so fucking tired, and if vandalism wasn’t a bloody crime, your car would be keyed and spray painted pink.  i slept last night dreaming of doing so, and praying that you get a parking ticket in the morning. 

asshole.

Tags: rant

why walking sucks.

i must’ve slipped in the shower and cracked my head open yesterday because this morning i decided to walk to starbucks to clear my head and get some work done.  

i have since come to the conclusion that walking is fucking dangerous.  crossed the street to the sidewalk on the other side and had to walk through a mere 3 meters of grassy area and what do you know, i get stabbed in the foot by a branch that just so happened to be sticking straight up. 

not to mention, i spent 20 minutes walking with the sun blazing on my left, already burnt side when its the back of my legs that needs some colour.  i was pretty certain that walking like a crab for 20 minutes is not on my life’s to do list. 

fml. 

my bucket list

i’ve decided to start making a bucket list.  things to do before i croak.  i’ll just keep adding to this list as i keep chugging along in life..  i apologize if it becomes the most random-ass list ever

1. eat uni out of the shell! - need to go to japan for this.

2. go paragliding over the grand canyon 

3. go to bora bora - need to be a millionaire for this

4. kiss a dolphin

5. float in the deep sea

6. do that cn tower rail thing

7. walk around paris with a beret and a paper bag full of groceries and french bread sticking out of it.  

8. go to every six flags amusement park before i have kids so i can actually enjoy the rides

9. go skiing in the morning and hot springs in the afternoon in japan

10. gun it on the autobahn without pissing my pants

Tags: bucketlist

a gut wrenching revelation…. i’m ancient.

Today, on my way to work, the radio was doing some way back playback (as always) and usually these are like 1980s music way before my time, like Heart or Cyndi Lauper.  Not today.  Today they played the Backstreet Boys.  No big deal, right?  I was all, OMG YES!! BSB MY FAVORITE.  Shortly after the song ends, the host says ‘And that’s As Long As You Love Me from 1997!’  

The quick math in my head says that’s 15 years ago.  It didn’t really seem like that long ago when I was wearing down that CD, letting it play on repeat for hours on end in my clunky, but shiny discman.  For some reason, I feel like it was only maybe 5, 6 years ago.  Figuring out that it was an entire decade and a half ago, that nearly made my heart stop.  I’m getting old…  

Now people 30s and up scoff and say, how the hell do YOU feel ancient, you barely broke into your 20s.  What I think is the driving factor to my feeling like an old cow is that not that long ago, everything that I recognized as being part of my lifetime was considered fresh and new.  This is the first step into the realm where there are things that happened in my lifetime that people consider history/old.

AND THAT. IS WHY I FEEL ANCIENT.  :(.

  

i hate it when

i get a ‘gourmet’ fast food burger for ten bucks and my tomatoes, lettuce and bacon, chicken is all out of whack, there’s more mayo on the wrapper than in my burger, and there’s only guacamole on the right side of the burger. 

i can’t get a decent bite on this thing!!!!!!!!!

by the way, mine looks NOTHING LIKE THE PICTURE. NOTHING IS STACKED PROPERLY!  :( ten bucks… QQ..

Tags: Rage

drivers that can’t piss me off

obviously don’t exist, but has anyone seen a volvo c30 at night?  

see this is the back end:

now, when its dark, its easier to see.  the lights come on and its like, BAM!

instant transformation to ‘HEY ITS YOU! OH HI OH HI OH HI!’ car

even in traffic, i can’t help but think the car ahead of me is really happy to be driving in front of me, so even if its a crap-ass driver, i can’t get pissed.

papaya smoothie

note to self:

banana papaya smoothie = fucking banana smoothie that is coloured orange.

=(.

can’t imagine what a life it must be to be jamming on the beach with a grand piano.

just a little behind

So I write this shit on Notepad when I’m bored and gots no internet.  Split second later completely forget to post it.  Here goes:

IN CHINA:  (Sometime when I was still within the Great Firewall of China)

There’s this show… It parades 24 girls, and a bachelor comes in and talks about himself, the girls ask questions, and they press their button if they don’t dig the guy. So and and so forth.  

The guy plays a few videos of himself, his family, his friends etc., y’know to get the girls to like him.  While this is all happening, the girls continue to reject the poor guy.  

After everything is said and done, the guy finally shuts the hell up and from the girls who still dig him, he chooses the ones he doesn’t see himself with, or is not hot enough.  

The last two girls remaining battle it out, totally bitch-style for the guy’s affections.  Whoever wins this epic battle, walks home with a brand new fucking boyfriend.  Five dudes per episode. 

________

What. The. Fuck. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?.  And here I was thinking the American’s were fucked in the head with shows like 16 and Pregnant.

SMH!!!